i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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