I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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