Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
