Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
