I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
