thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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