He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
