hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
