I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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