we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
