if i can run in heels then i can drive
and she was petting her beer can
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
