Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
