You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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