I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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