Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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