Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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