I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
