I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
