I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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