I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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