the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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