Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
