so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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