Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
