theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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