what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
