Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Couch. On fire.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
