My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
