Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
