what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize