Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
