you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
