who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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