I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
