note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
