I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
plz talk dirty to me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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