How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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