We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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