dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
