Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
