i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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