I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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