Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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