if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
