I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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