the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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