I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
