Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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