she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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