I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
