google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
