I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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