More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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