I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
