There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize