i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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