So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize