She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
