After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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