she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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