Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
