i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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