I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
