I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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