i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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