Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm gonna fight the coyote
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
