oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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